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Pre-marital sex compulsory?
29/08/2000 21:42 - (SA)
Neels Jackson, Beeld
Johannesburg - "Sex before marriage should be compulsory,? Unisa theologian, Prof Christina Landman, said on Monday night at a conference on Critical Issues on being a Christian.
Landman said she had seen too many women find out only after their wedding that their husbands were impotent or that they had strange sexual requirements or desires.
Landman was among a panel of theologians answering difficult questions put forward by members of the Andrew Murray NG Congregation of Johannesburg North.
Among the questions asked was whether divorced or single Christians could have sex.
Reverend Dirkie van der Spuy of the Moreleta Park NG Congregation in Pretoria said the Bible very clearly stated that sex should be kept within the safe and sanctified boundaries of marriage. He referred to Jesus who caught a woman committing adultery and said "go forth and sin no more". He also quoted Jesus as saying that a man who desired a woman in his thoughts had sinned already.
Landman, however, responded by saying it all depended on which part of the Bible one read.
Landman did not advocate promiscuity but referred to the therapeutic qualities of sex in relationships, which were close to marriage. She saw sex as a form of communication, which needed to be sorted out before the wedding.
Van der Spuy said a couple first had to sort out all other forms of communication before having sex.
A social worker in the audience said that in her experience many problems could be attributed to pre-marital sex.
Management consultant and theologian, Dr Bertie du Plessis, said that while he did not want to take a stand on the issue, people had to remember that marriage today was a very different proposition to marriage in Biblical times. Maria was probably only about 13 years old when Jesus was born. People were often married at the age of 12. Today people married at the age of 25 or later when their sexual peak has already passed.
Until a century ago, a man undertaking to stay faithful to his wife until death, knew there was only a 20% chance that she would be with him until then because of the high possibility of her dying in childbirth. He could then marry for a second and maybe even a third time.
A woman making the same promise knew that it was probably only for 15 years.
This should be borne in mind when discussing marriage in modern times.
- Beeld
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